| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2007|09:36 pm] |
I don't suppose that anyone who reads this reads it for my continually changing mood - but here goes:
I am already sick of the "new me". Who really wants to see me faking it? People catch on to this sort of thing very quickly, and to pretend to be all sociable and positive is going to send off alarms in peoples heads. I think I just need to deal with the fact that I'm not that good in 90% of social situations.
Ok well I'll still try to change. |
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| New Website |
[Mar. 13th, 2007|05:52 pm] |
Well, I suppose "New Website" is a misnomer, since this is my first website. And it's not even a website really, more like a single page with links to music.
Anyway - I will like to make an album during this summer, filled with strange noises and catchy melodies. I will provide the album free possibly under creative commons or some such. This is a rough idea of what I want the album to look like, and the first two tracks give an idea of what the album will be like, though neither are completely finished at this point.
I guess, David, you are the only one of my friends who still reads livejournals but I still feel the urge to speak as if to an audience.
Anyway, David here is the link:
http://www.andrewbeckmusic.com/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 12th, 2007|11:10 pm] |
From the same article as this picture - sandwiching financial loss between the loss of human life:
"The widespread failure to recognize depression in men has enormous medical and financial consequences. Depression has been linked to heart disease, heart attacks and strokes, problems that affect men at a higher rate and an earlier age than women. Men with depression and heart disease are two or three times more likely to die than men with heart disease who are not depressed. Lost productivity due to adult depression is estimated at $83 billion a year. Over the past 50 years, American men of all ages have killed themselves at four or more times the rate of women, depending on the specific age range."
Luckily this article was just dashed off in a few moments and doesn't accurately reflect what our culture believes. I just find it kind of darkly funny. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2007|10:44 pm] |
I have a tendancy to relate to everything - to see things as reflecting me. In psychology this is called "delusions of reference" and is overall a bad thing but I find that it makes me into a multi-faceted person.
Of course I misunderstand what people are trying to say since I take what they say very personally but I also aspects of my personality are revealed that would have otherwise lain dormant. I wonder if this is a human instinct or really a disorder. In buddhism there is a nice explanation for what enlightenment is: "When you sneeze, the mountain sneezes." In essence that your conciousness spreads so wide that everything is part of you - there is nothing that seperates you.
The fact that this would be considered a disorder reflects how much seperatedness is part of our culture. Even those whose opinions I love are obsessed with taking apart the other and unknowningly create otherness.
As part of the "New Me", I vowed to overcome some of my personality problems but this one I think I'll keep. I like being everyone I meet. It may cause me to misunderstand somethings but let's me understand parts of myself that I wouldn't have seen had I not mistaken myself for someone else. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2007|12:42 am] |
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Doesn't it feel good to be rich? To be able to do what you want? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 8th, 2007|12:22 pm] |
I've realized that I spend about $3-$5 on food a day.
This is what I eat. I haven't eaten anything else but this for a month (unless a friend treats me to dinner).
Every day
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Multi-vitamin
Grits
Ramen "Salad" (ramen with oil and vinager)
Chedder Cheese (cheapest that's still tasty)
Coffee
Every other day
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Frozen Tamale (steamed)
Frozen Pork Bun (steamed)
Spagetti-O's
Baked Beans with Toast
"Salad" (lettuce with home-made mustard dressing made with mustard packets from wendy's)
Home-made bread (yum)
Potatoes (roasted, baked or mashed)
For a few days after I get paid
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Bacon
Eggs
Pho ($6 soup which, when you get it at the right place, is AMAZING)
I quite like my diet, really. These foods have kept me quite healthy. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 9th, 2006|03:06 pm] |
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This site has a lot of really great transcripts of the trial against Abbie Hoffman and the Yippies in their demonstrations in Chicago. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 9th, 2006|01:20 pm] |
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the more i learn about peoples parents the more i see them making the same mistakes they blame their parents for. im all about making some new mistakes, but maybe this circle of mistakes is something that ties us to our families in a very authentic way. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2006|09:53 pm] |
Tomorrow there will be a 14-hour radio tribute to Elliott Smith, which is lovely. I don't own a radio and don't have time to listen to it, but luckily you can hear it on the internet, somewhere. Perhaps you could find it. I wish I knew about it earlier since they wanted to play a lot of covers and I was so ready to do a version of "St. Ides Heaven".
Almost done with projects, just have a full day tomorrow and a concert where I'll play my "Yesterdays" remix. There was something awesome I was going to say but forgot it. This happens.
Why am I just reporting on things? I like the idea of livejournal as a forum for ideas. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|11:04 am] |
Howard Zinn's "peoples history of the united states" is very good - it approaches unbiased history by focusing on the other side of "progress", those who get stepped on while others line their pockets.
But it is still very biased, and has an agenda. But I guess that's because it's written from the POV of the working class, who always feels that the rich are evil, and tend to put things in terms of class.
But I think that these days I'm seeing things less in terms of class (as in we're all stacked up on top of each other), but instead of seperate cliques or socities that we all belong to. Seeing things in terms of class cannot break those bonds as some political scholars think (those who try to stir up anger by analyzing EVERYTHING as it relates to class), but instead just perpetuates it. Why would you care these days if you were upper-class unless you were just in love of ornaments? Those kind of things are the end of the themselves - things that are expensive are great because they show how rich you are, if you look deep at what makes you want some things.
The idea of owning things is usually what makes people jealous, angry, vengeful, oppressive, so in the same kind of idea as how the petty-bourgeois get little scraps from above and help perpetuate the bourgeois' agenda, by wanting things to buy you are perpetuating the death of thousands of innocents, slavery in foreign countries, etc.
And think about it - if we all changed our feelings towards owning things, then we wouldn't go out and buy so much nike shoes. Great, no more 7 year old kids putting together the little stiches on them. We wouldn't go out and buy little plastic goodies. Great, less oil being used up for things that are made to be thrown away soon. We wouldn't fill our trash cans, therefore creating huge inorganic piles of trash which seep into the ground around them.
The thing is that every revolution is made by overthrowing those in charge without upsetting the status quo of those who WANT to be in charge. But no revolution in nessicary to better the world. We should just spread ideas of community and non-dependance on things.
I hope that all made sense - i just woke up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2006|08:23 pm] |
William Blake saw a thousand angels playing trumpet in the sun. That's no big deal, I saw that on TV last night.
I was writing this great song that I was really happy with, but the concert I was writing it for was cancelled! I suppose its no big deal, since good songs should just exist. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|03:58 pm] |
I want a garden with fresh tomoatoes, cucumber, mango, herbs (mint, oregano, thyme are essential), peppers and potatoes. I want these to be hung from the walls in a room in the center of my house, where the plants will slowly take over the roof and hang down in the sides my house. I want it to always be misty in there, between rain and clear sky. I want to make breakfast every day with fresh ingredients.
I don't like these dreams of having someone else do the work for you and getting things in supermarkets. Those fantasies is just the extension of the fantasies of slave owners. I want to live on the island from Brave New World where all anti-government people are sent. They must have a wonderful cooporative community there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|09:06 am] |
I hate it when people think that work is more important than living life. People who get so involved in what they have to do, they forget that the whole reason that they're doing it is to be a backdrop for everything else in their life.
This breaks apart families - a husband who gets so involved in his business that he barely talks to anyone anymore - a mother that at one point was very happy towards her children, showing all sorts of love and affection, just stops showing it. It's a common story.
Seriously - work can be done at any time and there's no reason to get overly stressed about it, since you're just gonna have more to do after you finish the stuff right in front of you. If youre stressed about the work you have to do now, you'll always be stressed. |
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| Being both the Prologue and Epilogue |
[Apr. 17th, 2006|03:02 pm] |
I imagined this today.
A bleached white reception room of inconsistant size, where 10 people would have to squeeze to get in and several million could sit comfortably, which has two doors. One door nobody in the room has ever entered and where every once in a while someone sitting in the room is summoned to. The other door is the one everyone has entered in, and once in a while someone will exit in frustration through this door only to return in 70 years or so with a look of confusion and slight recognition. When I first entered this room I tried in vain to talk to people, though nobody seemed to understand me. I could only communicate through body language and even that was fruitless since people seemed to just be waiting for their name to be called and is not intrested in what I had to say. Though I wasn't saying anything in particular anyway - I was just trying to pass the time.
This must be purgatory, I thought to myself, realizing that it was both inevitable and necessary. Soon after this realization, and after resolving a lengthy argument with someone on what to call this realization (spoken in tongues of course) my name was called. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|12:44 pm] |
bipolar.
i think i can change this with a certain attitude. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|01:52 am] |
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Pizza bagels may be awesome, this much most of us know. But let me tell you that blueberry bagels, pizza sauce, mozzerella cheese and sausage do not mix. I did not know what I was eating yet I can never forget it. This advice I leave you : when eating pizza bagels, make sure the bagel in question is NOT blueberry flavored. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|02:47 pm] |
I've been in a great mood these last couple of days. Richard Devine has been in town hanging out and doing lectures, and it turns out he lives fairly close to Atlanta, so finally I have someone to go jam with over the summer. His music can be ugly and beautiful, with evolving textures and crackling beats. He is really in the tradition of Verese, Iannis Xenakis and Todd Dockstader while mixed up with Aphex Twin, Autechre and Venetian Snares. He even has worked with Trevor Wishart (my current musical fixation) and Mike Patton.
Also it looks like I might be able to work at the new music technology division at Ga Tech, which I'm really excited about. These departments always have lots of modular synths and resources that I can't wait to get my hands on! Plus I have a lot of ideas for effects to program over this summer so it will be awesome to take advantage of all that. |
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